[ she realizes half a second too late that she must have said something wrong, but instead of trying to backpedal, she just shakes her head. ]
I'm going to be perfectly honest with you here - but that's a load of bullshit. Doesn't matter what kind of world he's come from, he's here and he's going to see that. He should know. If he doesn't get it, you should explain it to him. [ Jo sighs a little, shakes her head. ] Nothing's ever that easy, but that doesn't make it any less worth trying.
But not now. [ that much is clear, even to her. ] You're not...you're not in a good place to be explaining anything.
[ He's built up some sort of grand speech that's not rambling or fumbling with words when she says all that, and it immediately slips his mind, shoulders slouching and head down. ]
Maybe, maybe not. I'm trying to deal with this. It's so fucking hard, and I'm not saying that like I need your pity or something. It's just what it is. 'Cause angels aren't supposed to have their feelings or their own thoughts. That's a human benefit. [ And now he's frustrated with himself. With her. With this stupid ship and stupid space, and god, at least Hell was easier to understand. ] You know what I used to do in Hell? When I couldn't handle it?
[ He points at her. ] Drugs. No, uh. That's not really specific enough. Souls. Stuff with souls that made everything better, made this shit okay.
[ it's not said in an accusatory way, she's just curious. She just wants to know. Because it's obvious he's feeling, he's just not very good at it, which - granted - most people Jo knew were all pretty bad at it. But he had extreme circumstances.
But then she stops, her brow furrowing slowly in confusion. ] What the hell does that mean?
[ He simply ignores the first question because. Well, he really doesn't have any idea either. After he Fell, the world threw itself at him in brighter colors, and no one had bothered giving him an instruction manual on How to Human. ]
What do you think it means? All those left over pieces get bottled up and sold off. I still-- [ He cuts himself off, suddenly reminded that there's some on the ship. Somewhere in Kurt's room. ] It makes it easy. It made me forget. It was a simple answer, Jo.
When you say they're left over, though. Are they still people?
[ she sees the though there, but doesn't know what it's about. Crosses her arms over her chest and just stares at him. ]
It was an easy way out, you mean. [ because that's how she feels about drugs - cheap, easy ways out. And maybe it's a little hypocritical of her, but she doesn't like them. Won't ever like them, not really. But she won't judge the people who do. Not unless she needs to. ]
Look, Bells, let's head back to the main part of the ship. This place gives me the creeps.
[ He shrugs. It's more complicated than easy, but he isn't going to try explaining that. How he'd woken in so much pain with drugs practically shoved at him, how he'd still be so damn naive because Hell is no where near as accommodating at Heaven in the ways he'd been used to. ]
Where are we gonna go? [ Since he doesn't have anywhere to go. ]
[ when he doesn't answer her question, Jo thinks about repeating it, forcing him to tell her. are you shooting up people like heroin, bells but she doesn't bring it up, not yet. she's not sure if she wants to know when she's trying to be here for him. ]
I don't know. Bar, my room. Hell we can go and sit in the gardens if you want, somewhere.
Don't think I should go to the bar. [ He doesn't want to drink. Booze makes him think of Lor, and he really, really doesn't want to think about him when he's trying to sort out what's going on with Kurt. ] Could I, uh, stay with you for a while?
[ Even as he talks, he's walking to get on the lifts. ]
[ Jo's got work, but she can deal with that after she has Bells settled. Wherever- oh. Well then problem solved. ]
Sure. [ and Jo's right there with him, walking back and pressing the button for the lifts. ] You can stay however long you want. I've got work, though, so the room might be empty but yeah.
You can't sleep there. [ Because he feels like he has to point it out. But he also doesn't want to spend so much time being alone. Bells looks down at the floor. ] I mean, I guess you could. But it'd be nice to see you later.
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ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-11 11:25 pm (UTC)I'm going to be perfectly honest with you here - but that's a load of bullshit. Doesn't matter what kind of world he's come from, he's here and he's going to see that. He should know. If he doesn't get it, you should explain it to him. [ Jo sighs a little, shakes her head. ] Nothing's ever that easy, but that doesn't make it any less worth trying.
But not now. [ that much is clear, even to her. ] You're not...you're not in a good place to be explaining anything.
ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-11 11:36 pm (UTC)Maybe, maybe not. I'm trying to deal with this. It's so fucking hard, and I'm not saying that like I need your pity or something. It's just what it is. 'Cause angels aren't supposed to have their feelings or their own thoughts. That's a human benefit. [ And now he's frustrated with himself. With her. With this stupid ship and stupid space, and god, at least Hell was easier to understand. ] You know what I used to do in Hell? When I couldn't handle it?
[ He points at her. ] Drugs. No, uh. That's not really specific enough. Souls. Stuff with souls that made everything better, made this shit okay.
ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-12 12:14 am (UTC)[ it's not said in an accusatory way, she's just curious. She just wants to know. Because it's obvious he's feeling, he's just not very good at it, which - granted - most people Jo knew were all pretty bad at it. But he had extreme circumstances.
But then she stops, her brow furrowing slowly in confusion. ] What the hell does that mean?
ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-12 04:06 am (UTC)What do you think it means? All those left over pieces get bottled up and sold off. I still-- [ He cuts himself off, suddenly reminded that there's some on the ship. Somewhere in Kurt's room. ] It makes it easy. It made me forget. It was a simple answer, Jo.
ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-12 01:36 pm (UTC)[ she sees the though there, but doesn't know what it's about. Crosses her arms over her chest and just stares at him. ]
It was an easy way out, you mean. [ because that's how she feels about drugs - cheap, easy ways out. And maybe it's a little hypocritical of her, but she doesn't like them. Won't ever like them, not really. But she won't judge the people who do. Not unless she needs to. ]
Look, Bells, let's head back to the main part of the ship. This place gives me the creeps.
ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-12 02:19 pm (UTC)Where are we gonna go? [ Since he doesn't have anywhere to go. ]
ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-13 11:12 am (UTC)I don't know. Bar, my room. Hell we can go and sit in the gardens if you want, somewhere.
ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-13 03:44 pm (UTC)[ Even as he talks, he's walking to get on the lifts. ]
ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-14 02:23 am (UTC)[ Jo's got work, but she can deal with that after she has Bells settled. Wherever- oh. Well then problem solved. ]
Sure. [ and Jo's right there with him, walking back and pressing the button for the lifts. ] You can stay however long you want. I've got work, though, so the room might be empty but yeah.
ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-14 09:23 pm (UTC)ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-15 11:15 am (UTC)ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-15 03:46 pm (UTC)Okay. You'll, uh. You promise to come back?
ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-15 09:43 pm (UTC)Hey, I told you. I'm not going anywhere, okay? [ a beat, and then: ] I'll come back. I promise.
ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-18 02:48 am (UTC)Yeah, uh. [ Pausing, Bells nudges her back. ] Thanks for, you know. Helping me.
ax | action;
Date: 2013-04-18 03:08 pm (UTC)That's what I'm here for.